Dare to be different

            When it comes to self-esteem and activities that help to build it, I have to say African parents are lacking in this aspect regardless of the socioeconomic position of the family. The African system of child rearing is to raise the child based off of whatever values are held by the parents either biased or not. I write of “African parents” because I grew up in an African home. I realized most of the values, ideals and even sentiments are shared by majority of African parents. There’s a high chance that other cultures and races are guilty of this. I’m not saying parents are to blame per se considering they’re only raising you based off of how they were raised. Besides, there’s no manual for raising kids is there. 

            Now to the bone of contention here, every parent wants their child to be the best in school and what not but I feel they often go about this the wrong way... 

            I haven’t raised any myself so what do I know? 

I feel like most times in the quest for greatness, parents start to subconsciously superimpose their personal goals perhaps those which they were unable to achieve while they were at similar ages unto the child and mold mini versions of themselves. This may make a child to develop very low self-esteem and or possibly identity issues. I’m not saying that parents are solely responsible for self-esteem issues that individuals struggle with, I’m suggesting that bulk of the fault is from home. The worst part is that a large percentage of parents are completely oblivious to the fact that their children have self-esteem issues that stemmed from one faulty system of raising their kids or another. They mistake low self-esteem and not being able to speak up as being timid or being respectful or being “reserved”. This goes a long way in the individual’s career and personal life.

I understand the whole concept of wanting the best for your child and wanting your child to be best, but once this interest starts conflicting with the child’s personal interests, the child has become your puppet without even realizing it. This needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. My suggestion, break the cycle. You don’t have to raise your child the way you were raised. To my future parents, the power is in your hands. Dare to be different.